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PARENT'S ROLE IN THE SERVICE Mazal tov on your upcoming simcha and celebration! Without a doubt, preparing for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not an easy feat, filled with much anxiety and stress over endless details. We're interested in simplifying your life, particularly as it relates to your participation in the BM worship service. To that end, we've assembled a 'how to guide, complete with recordings of the aliyah blessings and prayers, the actual Hebrew and English readings in the service, and choreography in the service; in the hope you'll be able to participate with greater comfort and confidence on that special day. Your participation includes the following: FRIDAY EVENING 1. Shabbat Evening Candle Lighting ceremony 2. Holocaust Candle Lighting ceremony SATURDAY MORNING 3. Presentation of the Tallit 4. Chanting an Aliyah: Blessing at the Torah 5. Honors forms 6. Passing of the Torah - Generation to Generation 7. Delivering a charge to your child After you review these parts of the service, please know you'll have an opportunity to review them with the clergy at the dress rehearsal in the final week. In the meantime, if you have any questions or concerns, please contact us at anytime. Please click here to download and print a copy of the information for your files.
CANDLE LIGHTING CEREMONY
Parents are called up to the pulpit by the rabbi. Please move directly to the Sabbath Candle table One parent takes in hand the laminated script in hand found on the table and slowly recites the following It is Shabbat. Today we celebrate creation. Adam, the first human being, could not celebrate creation -- he feared it. He feared the setting of the sun. He feared the darkness. The first time he saw the sun set he cried anxious tears. He feared he had caused the sun to disappear. in spire of him, not because of him. Then, the second parent takes the script and reads the following: It is Shabbat. Today we celebrate creation. Because of Adam we know that certain things happen in creation in spite of us, not because of us. Since the time of Adam we have learned that certain things happen because of us, not in spite of us. Because of Adam we have a role in creation. Because of Adam we have a stake in creation. Then, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah reads the following: It is Shabbat. Let us celebrate creation- even the darkness. For darkness is the foundation of light. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah lights the taper, and then lights the Sabbath candles (Please blow out the taper after lighting the candles)
Parents and BM read the blessing over the Shabbat Candles Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha'olam Asher Kidshanu B'mitzvotav V'tzivanu L'hadlik Neir Shel Shabbat. Parents and BM, Rabbi and Cantor sing together the blessing over the Shabbat Candles together Click here to listen to the Blessing over the Shabbat Candles Parents and BM return to their seats
HOLOCAUST CANDLE LIGHTING CEREMONYYou will be called up to the pulpit by the rabbi. At that time, please move directly to the Sabbath Candle table. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah lights the taper, and then lights the Holocaust candle and hands the candle to one parent Together, both parents recite the following:
______(BM child's name) tonight we pass the flame of memory to a new generation. As part of “Remember Us: the Holocaust B’ney Mitzvah Project," we hand you this Yahr-tzeit candle, representing a child who died during the Holocaust, before s/he could be called to the Torah. With this candle in your hands, we ask you to respond to the Holocaust’s most basic need: “Zachor, “ remember! Bar/Bat Mitzvah continues
I accept this candle as I remember ______(name of Holocaust child). _______ (first name of Holocaust child) was born in 19____. S/he lived in _______(city), in the _____ region of _____(country). His/her mother’s name was ________; His/her father’s name was _______; . Lajos died in the Sho-ah, at Auschwitz concentration camp in 194___. S/he was ___ years old. I promise to make his/her memory a blessing, For the Jewish people, and for all the peoples of the world. As we recite the Kaddish prayer, _____’s (child's name) name will be added to our list of memory And s/he will be in my heart. When the prayer is completed please return to your seats TALLIT PRAYER FOR A DAUGHTER You will be called up to the pulpit by the rabbi At that time, please move directly to the Torah reading table on your child's right side Taking the laminated script in hand slowly recite the following.
This is the day that God has made; Let us rejoice and be glad upon it! We give thanks to the Holy-One-of-Being for the joyous feeling we have at this ceremony which celebrates a young woman reaching the threshold of womanhood. How privileged we feel that she is close to us and that we are bound together by bonds of love, memory, of hope! We give praise to the Holy-One-of-Being, whose Creation forms our life, whose Creation sustains us with bounty, whose Creation enables us to reach wonderful moments.
Slowly read together in Hebrew
Ba-ruch A-ta A-do-nai E-lo-hey-nu me-lech ha-o-lam she-he-che-ya-nu v'ki-ma-nu v'hi-gi-a-nu laz-man ha-zeh. Amen.
Now sing together the same prayer in Hebrew along with the Rabbi/Cantor Click here to listen to the Shehechiyanu prayer When the prayer is completed parents continue by reciting the following: Holy-One-of-Being, we are filled with thankfulness for the thirteen years that have come and gone we are filled with hope for the years that are yet to be. May this Bat Mitzvah be supported by Divine comfort and feel guided toward a life marked by reverence for Torah and love for all life. Amen.
Now, remain standing next to your daughter as she recites the Tallit blessing When that is completed, she will turn and face you then place the tallit around her shoulders give her a hug and kiss, shake hands with the rabbi and cantor then return to your seats
TALLIT PRAYER FOR A SON You will be called up to the pulpit by the rabbi Move directly to the Torah reading table on your child's right side Taking the laminated script in hand slowly recite the following Parents read together in English "This is the day that God has made; Let us rejoice and be glad upon it!" We give thanks to the Holy-One-of-Being for the joyous feeling we have at this ceremony which celebrates a young man reaching the threshold of manhood. How privileged we feel that he is close to us and that we are bound together by bonds of love, memory, and of hope! We give praise to the Holy-One-of-Being, whose Creation forms our life, whose Creation sustains us with bounty, whose Creation enables us to reach wonderful moments. Parents read together in Hebrew
Ba-ruch A-ta A-do-nai E-lo-hey-nu me-lech ha-o-lam she-he-che-ya-nu v'ki-ma-nu v'hi-gi-a-nu laz-man ha-zeh. Amen. Now sing together the same prayer in Hebrew along with the Rabbi/Cantor
Click here to listen to the Shehechiyanu prayer Click here to see the Shehechiyanu text When the prayer is completed parents continue by reciting the following:
Holy-One-of-Being, we are filled with thankfulness for the thirteen years that have come and gone we are filled with hope for the years that are yet to be. May this Bar Mitzvah be supported by Divine comfort and feel guided toward a life marked by reverence for Torah and love for all life. Amen. Now, remain standing next to your son as he recites the Tallit blessing When that is completed, he will turn and face you then place the tallit around his shoulders give him a hug and kiss, shake hands with the rabbi and cantor then return to your seats
CHANTING AN ALIYAH - TORAH BLESSINGS You will be called up to the pulpit by the rabbi. Move directly to the Torah reading table on your child's right side Taking the fringes of the tallit in hand touch the Torah where the scriptural reading begins (your child will direct you to the place) then kiss the fringes of the tallit and recite the following blessing
Click below to listen to the Prayer Blessing before the reading of the Torah Click below to see the Prayer text When you've completed the blessing, listen to your child chant from the Torah. When s/he is done, repeat the same process by taking the fringes of the tallit in hand, touch the Torah where the scriptural reading has ended (your child will direct you) kiss the fringes of the tallit then recite the following blessing Click below to listen to the Prayer Blessing after the reading of the Torah
Click below to see the Prayer text When you've completed the blessing move to the other side of the Torah Table wait for your child to complete their 2 Aliyah blessings Upon completion, hug and kiss your child shake hands with the rabbi and cantor and return to your seats
HONORSHONORS FORMS & READINGS FOR SATURDAY MORNING Assigning Aliyot in Torah Service Saturday Morning English Readings for Family/Guests **Please download the first two forms above, fill them out, and email to Cantor Ken. Thanks!
HONORS FORMS & READINGS FOR SATURDAY AFTERNOON Saturday Afternoon Honors Form Assigning Aliyot in Torah Service Saturday Afternoon English Readings for Family/Guests **Please download the first two forms above, fill them out, and email to Cantor Ken. Thanks!
Passing of the Torah FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION Just prior to the reading from the Torah, the Rabbi will call the parents of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, the BM and your honored guests, forward to form a line heading from the ark to the front of the Bima, to hand down the Torah from generation to generation. The torah is then passed down the line, each person handling the scroll, and passing in turn, from the eldest to the youngest. If any of your guests are unsure of how to handle the scroll, please let the rabbi know, as he be glad to support you. If there are non-Jewish grandparents, we strongly desire and recommend that they have equal participation in this, so long as they are comfortable and you and they feel it is appropriate. In such cases, it may mean that one of the parents is not Jewish, as well. We respectfully request that the Jewish parent be the last in line and be the one to finally hand the Torah to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. PARENT’S CHARGE TO THEIR CHILD Your opportunity to publicly address your son/daughter. Please be aware this is a highly emotional moments and not the best time for extemporaneous speeches or speaking from an outline or sketchy notes (even if you are accustomed to that in other settings). It is strongly recommended that you write out what you are going to say completely and keep your remarks to about two minutes (longer than you think!). Please, remember, this is still part of the service. Therefore: 1. Please do not do an entire review of the life of your son or daughter (a presentation like this is much more appropriate during your reception). Nor is this a time to tell your son/daughter the flood of feelings you are having at this moment. Speak to him/her about him/her. 2. Please do not speak to the congregation. This is not the time to thank everyone for coming, etc. (again, that will be much better done at the reception). Speak to your son or daughter (You may do so into the microphone or step away for a private message -- or a bit of both.). 3. We respectfully suggest that in at least part of what you say, that you express your wishes for the personality of your child's life in the coming years. 4. Please note; If you use more than the allotted time, several components of the service that usually follow will be eliminated so that we will still end on time. These components are: A. The Cantor's gift of music to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. B. The Rabbi's word's to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and the congregation. C. The giving of gifts. D. The musical version of the priestly blessing(it will be spoken quickly). E. The Rabbi's quiet time in front of the ark with your son/daughter.
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